soul stirrings.

this is what i have learned to know (and yes i know what sounds weird... but i think it describes it perfectly):


life is a journey. you can't go back, and you can't go forward too fast. you just have to be where you are, and be all there. remember and dream, but don't forget to live. life is not born in memories or dreams, it's born in moments. make the most of yours...

just about everything in my soul wants to rewind life to last year at this time.. ffi was heaven on earth for me. i have been on the most ridiculous emotional roller-coaster since then. since coming back to school especially, i have been broken in pieces and a wreck too many times... my heart longing to be back where everything felt right- 'on top of the mountain'.

life is hard. that is inevitable. but without valleys we would have no mountain peaks. without the shadows we would not know the sunshine. without sadness we would not know joy. without want we could not comprehend fulfillment.

life is a journey. strive to live it for each moment that you are living in... don't look back for too long. don't try to see ahead for too long, imagining what it would be like. look to your right and to your left. and always look up. the sight of the sky faithfully puts me back in my place every time i look at it.

stars.

for in my part i know nothing with any certainty,
but the sight of the stars makes me dream.
- vincent van gogh

wrecked into redemption.

fire fall down... from the inside out... tell the world that jesus lives... wake up this is reailty... 3union is pretty sweet :) this whole weekend was pretty sweet. fastbreak 2010: wrecked into redemption. from getting there late and being able to stop by rooms, see doug who i met this summer at getaway and have more reassurance about project for this summer through whispered conversation in the radisson hallway at 1am, to learning from joe viel (reads the bible 9 times a year. the fear of the lord should not be the fear of god putting his hand on you, but the fear of him taking his hand off of you. in hell, water (the most plentiful substance on the earth) will be most valuable- even a drop, but in heaven, the streets will be paved with gold (the most costly substance on earth). we often say i can't wait to get to heaven to ask peter what is was like to take that first step on the water, but i think that when we get to heaven peters gonna be asking us what it was like to have an entire copy of the bible, to be able to get anywhere in the world within 72 hours by hopping on a plane, what is was like to have a cell phone to talk to anyone in the world and share christ with them... how are we gonna answer that?) so much more. then there was getting to deliver food boxes with jed, wade, and alex. getting to share christ with dominique?. there was learning to break-dance, the ninja game, and escalators. learning to fly a pop tab like a frisbee, then annoying wade with my new found talent. there was cramming on beds and chat rooms. there were tears and vulnerability. there was energy and exhaustion. there was solarium and party elevators. pretty much all i expected, but so much more at the same time. thank you god for being so good... now it's time to go to bed!

religion that god our father accepts as pure and faultless is this.


'religion that god our father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress...' james 1:27

haiti really isn't that far from florida... but it is a whole other world. a world i wish i knew more of. the less than 2 weeks i spent there the summer after high school altered my view of the world, but really, the biggest difference it made in my life was giving me a 10 day panorama of what the pictures you see on tv and in magazines really are, and then it gave me some really cool stories to tell and some sweet pictures to frame.

today i was watching CNN doing live updates in haiti. one reporter was at the hospital. there was 1 doctor there. there were no bandages, gauze, or pain meds. there was nothing that would do any good. 1 doctor, for so many people.

there was another reporter at a house that had collapsed. he was standing there, helplessly, reporting second for second about what was going on. but he couldn't do anything other than tell CNN watchers what he was seeing. there was a little girl, 11, alive, but smashed under the roof that had collapsed. she was crying for her father. selfless haitian men, who would receive no tangible reward for helping her, had been there all day. trying to comfort her, trying to get her out, but there was nothing they could do. she might still be stuck there now. she might have died in the last 2 hours. and there are so so many people in her same situation. right. now. and nobody can do anything about it.

haiti has one airstrip. one.

no matter how much people there care, there isn't a whole lot they can do. people are suffering. people are dying. that's the truth. (and that 700 club guy had felt that he was right to say that the reason this happened was because of all the voodoo practiced in haiti? did he really think that statement was okay? that's embarrassing... saying things like that doesn't help anybody.)

people are dying in haiti. at this very moment. mothers don't know where their babies are. 11 year olds are stuck under collapsed buildings. we can watch it live to tv all day long. and nothing i do is going to help that little girl.

so i straightened my hair, brushed by teeth, got changed, grabbed my starbucks doubleshot, and came to work... while that little girl is trapped under the collapsed house. crying for her daddy... lord knows where he is.

... 'religion that god our father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress...' james 1:27

maybe we should take that a little more seriously.
and realize that suffering - real suffering - is for real.

follow up on what's going on. mark stuart and his parents and partners are giving updates from jacmel. http://www.handsandfeetproject.org/home.php
a place i fell in love with, but a place i can't say i really know.

(the babies, children, and workers at the H&FP, sleeping outside for safety)


mark is quoted in this article too: more about what's going on.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/13/haiti.jacmel/index.html


dearly loved.

love this song.

inside out.

for me, the past four days and the next four days have been / will be filled with mountains of information about how to save lives in the wilderness. aka: i'm taking a class to become a WFR. wilderness first responder. (*woofer). it sounds like 4th grade boy scouts :) but it's really intense. and it's incredible.


two simple truths from today that i wanna share before i try to imprint the rest of today's info into my brain:

bodily wounds heal from the inside out. otherwise- there would be infection... which would lead to ischema and infarction... tissue/cell death... amputation.

in a case of advanced hypothermia, the body must be warmed... ...from the inside out. otherwise, the person will not survive.

the body is made to cure itself from the inside out... how.cool.is.that?

call it over-whatever-ising... i like it. i like it a lot.

:)

k peace. i have to study!!