a thousand words.
i'm not good with words. but pictures speak a thousand, right?
i feel like i'm the little girl in this picture... just there.
i feel like the balloon is floating away because i'm realizing that i will never get spring 09 (ffi) back... maybe something better will come along... but really? at this moment i really don't think so. maybe i'll be utterly amazed sometime... but... hmm... i guess that's just a wait and see. sometimes i hopefully think that that couldn't be the best time of my life (even thought it was the best thing up to now!!), but then i catch myself wondering 'what if it was?'.
the balloon is floating away because i feel like i am so lost with where i am in life right now. what in the world am i doing? is my heart going to ache of regret when i look back on this time in my life? that terrifies me. it terrifies me.
the balloon is floating away because i feel like i have lost direction, passion, desire.
i feel like the little girl because, at the core of me, i'm just me. and i really don't know who that is yet.
i am the little girl because i look at the real world, of real people, and honestly sometimes i just want to be invisible. i'm not scared, i just feel so separate. so unready. and the balloon floats further. what am i doing right now?
in the mind of that little girl i just stand. where do i go... what do i love... what makes me angry... what now...?
and still... behind my field of vision... something reminds me:
there is always hope.
so i stand. i'm asking. where is it?
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2 comments:
Hope is not a heart-shaped balloon flying away - what we're grasping for and yet seemingly always out of reach.
Rather, Hope is the form of love that was tested on a cross, revealed by an open tomb, and expressed by an invitational Savior. It has gripped us - restored - renewed us - and promised to never let us go.
Why chase after red-hearted balloons that are led by the wind, faded by time and (just like themselves) often leave us empty?
If you're searching for where you're at right now - seeking hope. Look down, find your footing on the rock - and let the Word guide your steps and be a light unto your path.
Hope is the rock, Christ, in which we stand. A shelter; faithful and true.
To reiterate my point - I turn you over to one of the greatest hymns ever written:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
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Ok now that the emotion-filled sermon is over (hehe)
I'm right with you Sarah, I look back at the good times of IUP and SProject - and I expectantly look forward to what God could have in store. But daily I must remind myself that Christ wants to be my sufficiency in the now. He Himself wants to be my source of life. Not an experience (past or future). But Christ himself. Today.
Watch this video - it's from Rob Bell - not always the greatest doctrinally...but I like his thoughts.
http://www.strimoo.com/video/17502177/today-nooma-MySpaceVideos.html
:) yeah, i love that video. i sat in panera one day and watched it 3 or 4 times... trying to absorb it all.
i know what you’re saying is so true. it’s just a little hard sometimes… but you know that.
thanks will :)
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